Powerful You

Dr. Peter Levine describes trauma as an injury, a shock, "representing a profound compression of "survival" energy, energy that has not been able to complete its meaningful course of action." He chronicles his experience of being hit by a car in his book In An Unspoken Voice, along with a later observation and analysis of his experience, his own body's sensations and releases through the situation. The shudders and shaking after a trauma that in a way burn off the excess survival energy, as mammals in nature do, the tension as his body wants to move to protect him, the different emotions he experienced, and the sensations that accompanied each emotion. It's a fascinating and informative read.

Transforming or alchemizing our trauma is powerful, moving us from victim to survivor, as well as bringing more spiritual awareness. Dr. Levine also writes "In both the Buddhist and Taoist traditions, four pathways are said to lead to spiritual awakening. The first is death. A second route to freedom from unnecessary human suffering can come from many years of austere meditative contemplation. The third gateway to liberation is through special forms of (tantric) sexual ecstasy. And the fourth portal is said, by these traditions, to be trauma. Death, meditation, sex, and trauma, in serving as great portals, share a common element. They are all potential catalysts for profound surrender."

​By understanding our body's responses to trauma, observing ourselves in the present moment, utilizing techniques for supporting ourselves, we can transform our pain into power. We can use these experiences to nourish ourselves and "complete the meaningful course of action" we originally needed. We can turn garbage into gold.

It's not healthy to keep anger inside for too long. If you're too upset to speak calmly, you can write a note and put it where the other person will see it. Here are three sentences that may help. First: "My dear, I am suffering, I am angry, and I want you to know it." The second is: "I am doing my best." This means you are practicing mindful breathing and walking, and you are refraining from doing or saying anything out of anger. The third is: "Please help me." Memorize these sentences. Or write them on a small piece of paper, the size of a credit card, and put it in your wallet. Then when you're angry, you can take it out, and you will know exactly what to do.
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Part of my own journey to healing has been to intentionally include play and things that are fun and silly. I began playing Dungeons & Dragons at the local game store. While I was there, I felt more peace. I also experienced my stress headaches went away, just from playing make-believe with my friends.

D&D is a really fun option because you also get to play out scenarios and problem-solve in a collaborative way with people who are at least friendly to you. There are many options for incorporating play and fun into your life beyond this though.

Drawing or painting
Sewing or quilting
Nature walks with a group of friends
Comedy movies
Jokes and silly phrases, or a play on words
Improv
Snowball fight
Silly voices or accents
Yarn crafts
Singing or playing music
Reading
Reading a good joke book
Kids movies
Cooking or baking
Learning a new skill
Petting the pets

​Often, I find what makes life the most fun is to simply be me and just let out all the parts of me that I contain. Life is so much more fun when my family is silly. We can play together and amplify the silly and the fun, improving the mood for all of us..

Understanding someone's suffering is the best gift you can give another person.
Understanding is love's other name. If you don't understand, you can't love.

​How to Love - Thich Nhat Hanh

Peter Levine and Maggie Kline describe this as a normal rhythm of expansion and contraction or the movement of a pendulum from one side to the other.

They write about this in many books, including Freedom from Pain, Healing Trauma, Trauma-Proofing Your Kids, and Trauma Through A Child’s Eyes.

As we move along the path in our journey toward more healing, sometimes we need to look back at our own childhood to find the root cause of whatever pattern of thought or behavior we are in the process of changing. Knowing the techniques for helping children process trauma can be helpful for our own inner child to process the traumas we hold from childhood.

Consider and write out some experiences when you felt peace, relaxation, or joy. These experiences will be a resource for you as you move through the daily stresses of life, and you will come back to these when you feel upset or unsettled while working through your unprocessed traumas. This is meant to be a resource for you and is not a substitute for work with a licensed professional therapist.

Include all of your senses: What did you see, hear, smell, taste, and feel?

​Also consider the people who were around you, what they were doing and saying, and any other positive details you remember.

Trauma and Memory Peter Levine - Completion of procedural memories

In the fifth chapter of Trauma and Memory, Dr. Levine talks of the need to complete the procedural memories to help heal and release the trauma.

In those past moments, I can identify that I was in a freeze response. I didn't know what to do. I wasn't physically present to prevent it and I don't hold guilt for the actions of a predator, but I can look back and see what my response was with the light of current knowledge. In the moments after it all came to light, I was faced with an unimaginable situation that I had never faced before. I needed to protect my children, but I didn't know what to do. I had no reaction. I was taking in the information but was in shock and couldn't yet do anything with it. The rug was pulled out from under me.

What does renegotiating a memory look like in a practical way? Well, for my own experience, it looked like taking boxing classes and imagining the situation in question and mentally saying "NO! Stop! Don't touch her!" and then punching the bag while imagining that this bag was the perpetrator.

Boxing classes cultivated my fight energy, which propelled me forward in magical ways. I was able to imagine stepping in to prevent the abuse and trauma, as well as punching the perpetrator, who deserved that for his decision to abuse, but didn't receive it.

​One key to this is to remain mindful and intentional with it because there was one day that I was just angry and wildly moving, instead of being intentional. This day, I injured my knee, which paused my training. That day taught me to not let myself get out of control in my moments of processing the past or more pain can unintentionally happen.

Notice the sensations in your body. Describe them using the Sensation Vocabulary Box, and add this to your journal entry for the day. Notice where in your body you feel a difference after journaling about the event, or releasing some activation.

The Tapping Solution p. 23 by Nick Ortner
Choose your Most Pressing Issue (MPI).
Rate your MPI using the 0-to-10 SUDS.
Craft a setup statement, using your MPI to fill in the blank: Even though _____, I deeply and completely accept myself.
Speak your setup statement three times while tapping on the karate chop point.
Tap through the eight points in the EFT sequence while saying your reminder phrase out loud. Tap five to seven times at each point, starting with the eyebrow and finishing at the top of the head.
Take a deep breath.
Rate the intensity of your MPI using the 0-to-10 scale.
​Repeat, or move on to a different MPI.

Healing Trauma Dr. Peter Levine p. 64

​Find something interesting or pretty to look at. Just observe. Breathe. After several breaths, look around slowly, with curiosity. See what is happening around you. Are you in a safe, comfortable place? Orienting is very important to help you stay present and in the moment.

The Somatic Psychotherapy Toolbox Manuela Mischke-Reeds p. 44

After orienting, start at your feet and work up your body exploring what sensations you have. Feet, ankles and lower legs, upper legs, gut, breathing, throat, jaw, eyes, top of head, neck, hands, lower arms, upper arms, shoulders, upper back, middle back and lower back.
​What quality does it have? Is it changing? Compare it side to side. Is it tight, fluttery, firm, hot or cold, sharp or dull, etc.

Activate Your Vagus Nerve p. 134 Navaz Habib

Sit up straight without resting you back against anything.
Exhale completely.
Put your right hand on your chest and your left hand on your belly a little above your belly button
Take a deep breath in through your nose for 5 to 7 seconds. Allow only your belly to rise, feeling just your left hand moving.
Hold 2-3 seconds.
Exhale through your mouth for 6-8 seconds. Allow only your belly to fall.
Hold your breath for 2-3 seconds.
​Repeat as many times as you would like.

Square Breathing
Somatic Internal Family Systems Therapy Susan McConnell p. 123

Breathe in, to the slow count of 4. Hold, to the slow count of 4.
​Breathe out, to the slow count of 4. Hold, to the slow count of 4.

The Somatic Therapy Workbook p. 79 by Livia Shapiro

Face a blank wall standing about a foot away. Feet should be shoulder width apart.
Move non dominant foot back about 1 foot. If you are right handed, put your right hand on the wall a little above your head height and your left hand about the level of your heart.
Push into the wall visualizing that all the stress, tension, anger, frustration, depression etc. is going into the wall and that the wall is being pushed over.
Push to the slow count of 8. Release and slowly turn and face something interesting, orient by just noticing the object to the slow count of 8.
Breathe deeply and release tension.
Repeat 3 times.
​Walk slowly and mindfully to wherever you want to go.

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(named so it’s easy for children) Dr. Peter Levine

Sitting comfortably raise both arms about shoulder height. Bend elbows to that hands and lower arms are pointing upward at a 90 degree angle. While holding this position, bring both arms to the sides.
Pull arms together so that the inside of the forearms meet and touch right in front of your face.
Repeat.
Do this to the slow count of 8.
​Lower arms and orient to the slow count of 8. Repeat 3 times.

Freedom From Pain Peter Levine p. 34

Sit comfortably, with your back supported. Slowly inhale a full breath, pause slightly. On the out breath gently vibrate the sound “VOO” as though the sound were coming from your belly. Keep the pitch as low as possible and keep this sound through the whole exhale. Breathe normally. Repeat several times as desired.

VOO helps to settle your energy after doing work processing and releasing.

Another really amazing tool is The Emotion Code. This technique developed by Dr. Bradley Nelson utilizes muscle testing to ask your subconscious questions and receive answers to these questions, then running a magnet or your own fingers along your prime meridian to release the emotions that are trapped in your body.

These emotions can be your own emotions, your parents emotions, emotions that come from farther back in your lineage, or emotions you have acquired by contact with someone else in your life. Contact emotions can be from stressful work, intimate partnerships, abuse and trauma, or any number of other sources.

By using The Emotion Code, we have collectively found the ability to sleep better after witnessing a friend having a seizure, releasing emotions from our dog by proxy, which led to his greater comfort around men after past abuse, and exploration and release of other emotions, which has given us all more peace. It has sometimes been a fun and nourishing family activity to work on this together.

​There is a flow for general emotion releasing, as well a releasing of the heart wall. The heart wall is described just as it sounds. I barrier between our heart and the world around us. This often develops as a protection for our young and fragile hearts. So many childhood traumas get stored in our bodies and energetic fields, then show up later in life as the unconscious ways we speak or act. Sometimes this can be very destructive, which highlights our need to be mindful in our parenting, as so many of our own traumas show up in how we interact with our kids. Being mindful can help us stop a pattern that may hurt them, causing their own heart wall that they will later need to deconstruct.

Activate Your Vagus Nerve Navaz Habib p. 173-175


Daily Practices

Gargling
Gag reflex activation
Humming
Cold shower
Deep breathing
Sunlight exposure
​Sleep on your side

Weekly Practices

1.Yoga/pilates of light exercise
2.Social interaction
3.Listening to music
4.Green/clean/lean grocery shopping
5.Mediation and mindfulness practice
Monthly Practices
1.Check your supplements
2.Massage therapy, chiropractic care,
or visceral manipulation
3.Acupuncture treatment
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As long as we're rejecting ourselves and causing harm to our bodies and minds, there's no point in talking about loving and accepting others. With mindfulness, we can recognize our habitual ways of thinking and the contents of our thoughts. Sometimes our thoughts run around in circles and we're engulfed in distrust, pessimism, conflict, sorrow, or jealousy. This state of mind will naturally manifest in our words and actions and cause harm to us and to others. When we shed the light of mindfulness on our habitual thought patterns, we see them clearly. Recognizing our habits and smiling to them is the practice of appropriate mental attention, which helps us create new and more beneficial neural pathways.

​How to Love - Thich Nhat Hanh

It can be helpful to record the date of your journal entry. You can also write down the location where you were writing, and any other details that may be out of the ordinary or will help you recall the moment with all the details.

​Here are some ideas for writing in your journal...

... your emotions
​... gratitude or forgiveness
​... a positive experience
​... an event using SIBAM
​... your felt senses

Sensations in the body are what I noticed first in my sessions that we did SIBAM. Noticing what the current sensations are, as well as in the event I was describing.

In An Unspoken Voice, Dr. Levine describes the Image as encompassing all of our senses, as well as the Imprint of a traumatic moment. In my own sessions with my therapist, I described an event that had an emotional charge to it for me, and then also described the surrounding experience, beyond the imprint of that traumatic moment.

I then described my Behaviors and what I did in the mentioned event.

Affect is speaking on the emotions and feelings that I experienced in the event, as well as what I was currently was experiencing.

​Meaning involves both the meaning we originally ascribed to the event, as well as the new meaning we choose that aligns with our personal power becoming stronger.

True love gives us beauty, freshness, solidity, freedom, and peace. True love includes a feeling of deep joy that we are alive. If we don't feel this way when we feel love, then it's not true love.

​How to Love - Thich Nhat Hanh

Remember that your words hold power. Always speak kindly about yourself. As they say... "Your body hears every word that you say." Speak life and health into yourself.

​Say positive and affirming phrases about yourself and your aims....

I am...
I will...
I have...
...With ease
...Is effortless
I receive...
​I believe...

A fascinating look at how our words affect our physical form is found in the work of Dr. Masaru Emoto, as seen in Secret of Water and written in various books, including The Secret Life of Water. His experiments included study of the crystals of ice that formed in water after different words were spoken or even thought. This gives a physical representation of why so many religions bless their food and water. Blessings, prayers, and good intentions change physical matter.
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​Everything we think, feel and say matters.

When things go wrong, we have a rule. It's ok to be negative, but not for more than 5 minutes.

Give yourself 5 minutes, set your timer on your phone, he would literally teach us to set the timer.

You have 5 minutes to bitch, moan, cry, vent, punch a wall, whatever.

And after 5 minutes, you take a deep breath and say 3 really powerful words.

"Can't change it."

And it's simply an acknowledgement that I can't change what already happened, so there's no value in wishing it were different.


-Hal Elrod from an interview on
​Impact Theory with Tom Bilyeu

The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV) says "Domestic violence is the willful intimidation, physical assault, battery, sexual assault, and/or other abusive behavior as part of a systemic pattern of power and control perpetrated by one intimate partner against another. In includes physical violence, sexual violence, threats, and emotional abuse. The frequency and severity of domestic violence can vary dramatically."

When society asks a survivor of domestic violence the question "Why didn't you leave?" it can be hard to put everything into words. With something that is so massive and complex, it feels like words just fall flat and don't do it all justice. Thoughts can swirl around and around, leaving us with the answer "I don't know." NCADV helps to answer this though. The succinct name given to the patterns that are so complex and varied is "Coercive Control" and they describe it in this way: "Coercive control includes a combination of abusive tactics such as isolation, degradation, micromanaging, manipulation, stalking, physical abuse, sexual coercion, threats and punishment."

​Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk also wrote about this in The Body Keeps the Score. In lab testing, it was found that dogs who were shocked when they tried to leave their kennel eventually adopted a form of learned helplessness. They stopped trying to escape, even when the door was open and they were able to leave. They feared the shock that they had previously received when they tried to escape, so they simply stopped trying.

We may all have different stories to tell and lessons we've learned, but we all have the same stress hormones rushing around in our brains, and we all have those same hormones getting stuck in our bodies that are ready to jump up at us when we begin to sense that our current situation is similar to the situation that we were traumatized in.

While each story is unique to the person, knowing that abuse and trauma is experienced by so many people allows for us to drop our own self-judgement regarding any abuse situations we may have experienced as well as the duration of that experience.

They lied to you. It wasn't your fault. You didn't make them do any of it, no matter how many times they said you did. They chose abuse when they didn't have to.

You did the best you could with a hard situation.

You are not alone.

​You can expand your window of tolerance and choose the path of more resilience and more peace. You've got this.

The chakra system and energy body contain so much information we can learn. There is so much to learn in this area, but it's important that we do because it is also a part of us.

Participants of the government funded Gateway Project began with a meditation they called Phase 10. First synching the hemispheres of the brain, then synching the electromagnetic field of the brain with the electromagnetic field of the heart, and then on to sych with the electromagnetic field of the Earth.

Some participants reported communication in the form of hearing voices or seeing images. In a 1978 newsletter, one participant reported a life lesson coming through to him. All these documents have been de-classified and are available on the CIA website in the Freedom of Information Act section at the bottom of the page. Gateway Project, Akashic Records, Hemi-synch, Phase 10, Chakras, Inner Guidance, these are all searchable words and phrases.

Different brain wave states change the way we interact with the world around us.

Delta Less than 4Hz Sleep, Deep sleep,Body repair
Theta 4-8 Hz Creativity, Memory, Emotions, Auto-pilot
Alpha 8-12Hz Relaxation, Mental Coordination, Resourcefulness
Beta 12-30Hz Alertness, Problem Solving, Cognition, Decision Making
Gamma 30Hz and above Learning, Peak Focus, Concentration

The meditations of Jose Silva take us to the Alpha state, and the meditations of Dr. Joe Dispenza are designed to bring the energy body into balance and bring more heart/brain coherence.
​Re-programming the subconscious mind through hypnosis is some of what Marissa Peer's work encompasses.

Body and mind are not two separate entities. What happens in the body will have an effect in the mind and vice versa. Mind relies on the body to manifest, and body relies on mind in order to be alive, in order to be possible. When you love someone, you have to respect her, not only her mind but also her body. You respect her body. Your body is you. Your body is your mind. The other person's mind and body are also connected.

​How to Love - Thich Nhat Hanh

Belief and trust in a higher power can be both healing overall and also supportive in the day to day activities of life. Here are some practices and ideas that you may find beneficial. These are not rooted in any one religious or spiritual path because the goal is exploration and expansion.

Consider how your physical world is tied to your mental, emotional and spiritual worlds. Our bodies are the vessels for our souls. Movement can be a spiritual practice, as well as form of meditation.

Choose a type of movement that feels right for you, honor your inner knowing and remain aware as you practice your movements.

Dancing
Boxing
Kickboxing
Krav Maga
Jiu Jitsu
Hip Opening
Shaking
Complete the Cycle
Workouts
Walking
Running
Sports
Tabatas
Hiking
Bicycling
Other Self-Defense Practices
​Other physical activities You Enjoy

Gratitude is powerful for our healing and also for our enjoyment in life. Law of Attraction utilizes gratitude for magnetizing ourselves by both attracting in what we feel we deserve and also by changing ourselves so that we are thinking the thoughts and doing the actions that bring our desired outcomes about. Trust in the Divine meets our own personal power. And so much of this is accessed simply by being grateful for what is.

Cultivating an attitude of gratitude can sometimes be a challenge when circumstances are hard and we feel like we will be stuck in the current negative situation forever. This feeling and this situation are temporary. Even the hardest circumstances hold lessons for us, even if it is teaching us what we never want to experience again. If we can learn to find WHY a negative situation happened, we can work to avoid it in the future. Part of the WHY is also understanding ourselves and our part in the situation, even if it is as a bystander or victim. Shifting ourselves into gratitude can be a noticing that we have done or said something powerful and positive. Gratitude can also be thanking our Divine for protecting us. Whatever it is, gratitude changes us for the better. If you don't feel like doing it, that's ok. "Fake it 'til you make it" is a thing also. Move your muscles and write at least 3 things you are grateful for in your journal every day.

I am grateful for...

I'm so thankful for...

I appreciate... because...

​I am so thankful and grateful that...

Forgiving ourselves for our past mistakes or the patterns that we have unconsciously played out in our lives is a massive force for positive change. We accept ourselves as we were and are, we forgive ourselves for what we perceive as a wrong step, we seek to understand why we have spoken or acted in that way, and then we can release it with love.


"Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better." - Maya Angelou


Journaling what we notice about ourselves is important. When we love, accept, and forgive ourselves, it becomes easier to love, accept and forgive others. Often the block to this is a judgement of some sort. Releasing the judgement by recognizing that we are doing our best is the way.



Journal some using these ideas, and then make your own, as you see fit.

I forgive myself for...

I recognize that I did my best when...

​I offer myself grace for the times that I...

If you've made it this far, congratulations! There are so many tools and techniques that I've found help and relief in. I could spend a lifetime compiling all of them, so this workbook contains the ones that I feel have had the biggest impact on me. There is so much information I learned over the course of several years, and continue to learn. I can't fit it all into one space, which is why my house is filled with books!

Whatever our life is like, the circumstances of our birth, our family's social and economic status, the country that we live in, trauma is something we all experience in varying degrees and in various ways. While our pain and suffering may be different, we all have pain and suffering.

We all have the need to love and be loved, to explore the world safely, to learn, grow, and share our life with a partner and family who love us. And these loving connections make the difference between more trauma with contraction of the Self and less trauma with expansion of the Self.

We all can hold space for each other with love, acceptance, and non-judgment. This will help make the world around us a better place.

​Whatever the question is, the answer is always love.